By Dominic Lawes
Whilst the lockdown presented many significant challenges, it offered valuable graces in developing a greater commitment to Christ and appreciation of a life directed by the Cross. First year is supposed to be a spiritual year; a year to grow in prayer, self-knowledge, discipline and, most importantly, to deepen our relationship with Christ and our understanding of the reality of diocesan priestly life. In many ways my first year was not unlike other first years, in that I came into the seminary with a vision of priestly life that was challenged and tweaked over the course of the year, similarly regarding self-knowledge and my relationship with Christ.
But instead of the usual yearly routine driving this, the year’s circumstances, with the grace of God, was the catalyst of its evolution.
The most significant theme of this year for myself and others has been learning the importance of slowing down in considerable reflection and prayer, to give meaning to daily tasks. In many respects my first year was more suitable as a first year because of this. Being able to slow down, pray, meditate and contemplate enabled me to form a solid foundation on which to build my work, studies and commitment to friends and neighbours. And I gave the highest attention to daily meditation of Christ and the Gospels, so as to remain grounded in what truly matters. I realised more than ever that daily activities only have meaning when they are grounded in Christ.
I also came to value the reality that pastoral work is to study, what meditation is to daily activities. Not having pastoral work meant more available time to study and pursue my own interests. I thought that having more time to study would mean better quality work but actually it’s how we fit into the wider world and how we serve it that refreshes, motivates and gives seminary study purpose. Whilst living in a parish in June and July, as Melbourne briefly opened up, I served the parish and parishioners and I was indeed more motivated, less tired and more satisfied with my studies, being able to easily reflect on their end. Ultimately this end was one of service to my neighbour and to Christ. An integrated life, grounded in Christ, is a sanctified one.
Ultimately, the greatest grace of 2020’s unique circumstances for me has been a reality check on the true cost of discipleship for holiness in general and for a diocesan priestly vocation. The biggest cost is surrendering self-indulgence and comfort. To be a follower and Christ and a good priest requires one to be on guard about overdoing leisure time or paying to much attention to the challenges of life. I learned that I must sacrifice much of my time, that I might rather use taking things easy, to pray, meditate and give myself in service. The pandemic taught me the necessity of having daily occasions to experience slower time with Christ.